The Power of Wonder to Release Anxiety and Allow for Possibility (Updated)

I wrote this blog some time ago, and in the years since, I have become an even more enthusiastic advocate for wonder. I talk about it in both my books, and it's become a regular practice for me, whether dealing with big or small decisions or situations.

In a recent session with a client, I suggested that she let herself play with "I wonder how this will go?" instead of spending time dreading a predicted negative outcome and trying to figure out how to handle it. She subsequently reported a marked decrease in anxiety.

When we try to figure out the future (a virtually impossible task), the mind goes into tilt (you know, like the old pinball machines). It doesn't know how to solve the problem. This can result in anxiety or panic. When we wonder, we can stay more present in the body, which is where we source internal strength. We are giving ourselves a subliminal message that we're strong enough to handle whatever shows up.

Here's the original post,

which focuses on how wonder allows for possibility. Enjoy.

Have you ever looked at a couple walking down the street and wondered how long they’ve been together? Where they met? What their lives are like?

Have you ever been walking up a mountainside wondering what’s on the other side? Or down a city street wondering who lives above the pharmacy?

I clearly remember walking down 7^th avenue, where I used to live in NYC, and wondering what would happen if the ground from under my feet split open? Does it seem like a morbid thought to you? It wasn’t to me. I just had a moment of knowing that the things we take for granted, or as solid, are not necessarily so. And I didn’t panic, or freak myself out; I just wondered about what that experience would be like. I had fun with the unknown and stepping outside of what we call reality.

I also remember when I first visited Santa Fe and the strong pull I felt to live there. I wondered what my life would look like and if I would be happy living there. I didn’t try to figure it out, I just enjoyed the fantasy.

When we let ourselves wonder about the unknown, it creates an opening for exploration. We know that we are playing in the world of imagination and there are no right or wrong answers. We let ourselves make stuff up. No one will know and no one will care. We can just have fun with our minds creating stories of beauty and woe. Whatever floats my boat or tickles my fancy.

But way too often, we cut wonder off before we’ve explored its riches. Instead of wondering if I’ll ever be married, I try to figure out where he is and when he is going to show up. Instead of wondering what my life might look like in Santa Fe, I start desperately trying to find a job and a home to see if I can ‘make it work’. These action steps, which may be necessary in the future, are premature, and prevent me from diving into the realm of possibility.

Next time you’re trying to figure something out, stop for a moment and see if you can allow yourself to wonder… And let me know what happens!