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Lessons from Beatrice

Saying good-bye to loved ones is rarely easy. Over the years, in helping clients move through grief, I have asked them to honor the one who has passed by implementing the lessons they learned from that relationship. Practicing what I preach, here are some things I learned or was reminded of by Beatrice.

1. You don’t have to like others just because they like you.

- So many people loved Beatrice and wanted to get close to her. But she only let a select

few in. Deciding who you want in your inner circle is just fine.

2. It’s fine to take your time deciding who gets into your inner circle.

- Trust takes time. It’s okay to let others show they are trustworthy before randomly letting them

in (even if your gut reaction is often correct).

3. There’s nothing wrong with letting people know they have violated your space/boundaries.

- And, as Beatrice did, you can start with a gentle warning and escalate only when


4. Love with all your heart.

5. Be picky about what you put in your body. And, don’t let them trick you with food!

- Unlike most dogs, Beatrice could not be persuaded to do what she did not want to do just

for a treat. And, not just any treat would do. Hold out for the good stuff!

6. Take as much alone time as you need.

7. Claim your space.

8. There’s more to people than meets the eye.

- Over the years, Beatrice picked some people to love that we might not have. It’s always

worth wondering what might be hiding behind a prickly surface.

9. Be willing to let go of life itself.

- Life and birth happen every day in small and big ways. Letting go supports letting in.

10. Don’t engage in unnecessary drama.

- I was always impressed by Beatrice’s disinterest in the other dog’s battles at the dog park.

She never liked the barking of others and would not hesitate to leave an uncomfortable


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