Do you tell your children, spouse, parents or anyone at all that you worry about them because you love them? If you do, I have a suggestion for you. Stop It. It’s a lie. Worry does not come from love, it is an act based in fear. Fear that you might lose a loved one, or fear that a loved one could get hurt or do something not in their best interest, for sure; but that doesn’t make worry an act of love.
If you think about it from a body perspective, it’s pretty obvious. Love is an expanded state. We feel open and available and soft and warm inside when we simply allow ourselves to love another. We love to love and seek this state of being more than anything else (though often in a very strange way). When we worry, we are experiencing the exact opposite. We are in a contracted state, physically and mentally. Worrying is not comfortable and most people who worry say they wish they could stop. In fact, I’ve never heard anyone say they’d like to worry more.
We are a society that has fused love and worry and it’s time for us to see clearly what we are doing when we worry. We are trying to control or manipulate another (or ourselves) to avoid feeling afraid. I get it. But there are much more effective (and kind) ways of handling fear. We don’t need more fear in this world. If you’re ready to break the worry habit, check out my previous blog posts (link) and video (link).
And next time you want someone to know you love them, tell them or show them with a loving act, not worry.