Developmental Needs Meeting Strategy
By Melanie Smithson, MA, ADTR, LPC, CHt
The
Developmental Needs Meeting Strategy (DNMS) is a psychotherapy approach
which helps child parts get unstuck from the past, so they can grow to
meet their full potential now. Parts get stuck in the past to the degree
their childhood needs were not adequately met at a given developmental
stage. For example, a 13 year old who was not encouraged to develop her
own thoughts and opinions may rely heavily on those around to make
decisions for her, not trusting her own. And an infant felt unseen by
his parents may look for constant validation as an adult. Unmet
childhood needs often result in a child having negative self-beliefs.
These are naturally formed to make sense out of senseless situations
(i.e. when a child is treated badly by a parent during early
development, he/she may develop a belief ‘I must deserve to be treated
badly’). These negative self-beliefs often contribute to a host of
problems in adulthood.
The DNMS was synthesized by
psychotherapist Shirley Jean Schmidt, MA, LPC from a number of
well-known therapies, such as ego state therapy, inner child work, and
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR therapy). It is
based on what is known about how a child’s brain develops within a
healthy family.
The DNMS uses
three internal Resource parts of self (a Nurturing Adult Self, a
Protective Adult Self, and a Core Self) to meet the needs of wounded
child parts now. These resources can provide the necessary corrective
emotional experience that child parts require in order to get unstuck
from the past. This needs meeting work helps child parts feel safe and
securely attached to competent caretakers now, so they can safely shift
attention from the past (which has seemed like the present) to real
present time. Once a child part is totally unstuck from the past, he or
she will no longer overreact to disturbing events. In other words, when a
disturbing event happens, it will be experienced by adult parts of
self, and handled in a rational appropriate fashion. A disturbing event
will not evoke irrational, child-like fears and beliefs in any child
part that has healed.
A healthy,
supportive, nurturing relationship between parent and child has a direct
impact on the development of the child’s orbital prefrontal cortex (a
part of the brain). The neural pathways formed by this loving
parent-child relationship are vital for the development of the child’s
capacity for emotional self-regulation. The presence of these neural
pathways ensures that the child will be able to explore the world,
separate from parents, and mature in healthy ways. If these neural
pathways are not formed, or not formed well enough, a child will grow up
feeling insecure, and the development of normal behaviors (play,
exploration, and social interactions) may be impaired. DNMS therapy may
be constructing the neural pathways in wounded adults that should have
been formed in childhood. After DNMS, clients report feeling more
integrated and whole, and better able to manage their emotions.
Parts of self
(an engrained state of mind with a point of view) can interact with
other parts of self in a cooperative or combative manner. Parts of self
can be grownup, normal and happy, or childish and unhappy, and
everything in between. The more conflict there is between ego states,
the more unhappy a person will be. Sometimes internal conflicts lead to
physical complaints, like gastrointestinal problems, chronic back pain,
fibromyalgia, headaches, lowered immunity, and other psychosomatic
disorders.
Adapted with permission from "The Developmental Needs Meeting Strategy,"
by Shirley Jean Schmidt
Call Melanie's confidential voice mail today to schedule a free consult. 303-271-7659
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